So Sorry

Okay, guys. I am so sorry. Things have been just freakin nuts. Well, mostly my brain.

Jay and I hit a pretty rough patch. All he ever thinks or talks about now is work. He hates his job and is constantly miserable. I cannot haved one flippin conversation with him that he doesn't bring up how much he hates his job. GET A NEW JOB!!!!!! Seriously, if he doesn't find a new one soon, I don't thinkwe will make it. Also, we have another problem. In the last month, I have found myself very attracted to another man, a man I met at my little pub. Sven, he is Sweedish. We were bar friends and hung out at the bar a lot, but then all of a sudden it seemed to change. We went to dinner a couple times. (I know, I know. Not good, but nothing ever happened.) I really like him, which doesn't say much for me and Jay. He is a really great guy, had enough brain to keep me entertained (I hate stupid men). I took Mom out to my pub one night and she really liked him too. Then he tells me that he is moving back to Sweeden in about 3 months. UGH! So in my head, I amtrying to figure out if I am just looking elsewhere because Jay is frustrating me r ight now, or if I really don't want to be with him. How sad that even I don't know the answer to that.

My sister just found out she is pregnant. In the last week, we have already been through a scare of her losing the baby. Luckily they caught the problem just in time and everything is okay now. Whew! She and her husband have been trying for about a year to have a baby and have had a lot of trouble. This is a blessing!

I have kinda become a drunk in the last month. If LilBit is with the grandparents, I have now been known to go to the bar at 3 in the afternoon and stay til midnight. This is happening 3 or 4 times a week now. My sister is a teacher so she is off for the summer and has been keeping him in the middle of the week some. I am a careful drunk, but still I have been drinking too much. Luckily, with my history, I keep close tabs on myself and have chilled out some.

ALSO... my 10 year reunion is next month. I had asked Jay to go with me and he said yes. I knew it would be what he wanted to do most, but figured he would do it because I need the moral support. Well, the reunion is a 3 event thing over 2 days and now he says that he will only go to 1 event with me. Whichever one I pick. well, screw that! I want him there at all of them. I don't need help for just one. He hates people and doesn't want to be around them that much. I understand cuz I hate people too, but couldn't he manage this once, for me? Also, I am not going to pay $150 for all 3 events for him to shopw up to just one. It just doesn't make me feel very important to him, you know? I may be being a petty girl, but that is still how I feel.

Other than men, things are going well. Nothing else really exciting. My brother has been fairly calm, the crazy 18 year old girl moved out of our house, Mom is still to busy for her kids, and LilBit is just growing and growing. I hope all is well out there for you guys!