So my little brother (Nikos) came home last night. He was there when I walked in from work. He came up to me, hugged me, and told me how sorry he was for everything and how much he loved me. I reassured him that I loved him too. He then asked if I was going to hate him forever for all the things that had happened. I tried to explain that I dislike most of the things he had been doing and was worried about him , but did not hate him. Also that if he got his shit together now and did not continue down the road he had been on, that we would start from here. He did seem to understand that it is going to take quite a bit of time to regain trust from anyone, but that that is a consequence he deserves. It was a really nice conversation and I actually started to have hope. Luckily, I have been the person on that side of the fence and know better than to completely let my guard down.
My mom has had a trip for this coming weekend planned for about 2 months. Just a weekend getaway with the girls from her divorce recovery group. Last night Mom reminded Nikos of her plans and informed him that he would be going to stay with our sister and her husband for the weekend while she was gone. He expressed that he didn't really want Mom to go away yet, but if she was going to anyway could he just go stay with a friend. Okay, I know he has lost his mind (hence the week in the mental hospital) but the child has lost it again! Mom tells him this and that no he cannot run off and hang out with a friend for the weekend for several reasons. 1) he is on house arrest unless he is with Mom, me or our sister (not just orders from Mom, this was ordered by the court). 2) his friends suck and he was doing big drugs.
OOPS! Here we go again! FREAK OUT!
Nikos freaked the fuck out. Started screaming, throwing things, and cussing up a storm. Same old same old. There went the spec of hope that he had changed. He couldn't even make it home one freakin night before he flipped out again. He doesn't understand why he isn't allowed to hang out with the 18 year old boy that was giving him the drugs. Fine, even take away the drug factor, there is no reason in hell that an 18 year old should be hanging out with a 14 year old 8th grader anyway! He doesn't understand why he can't just stay at home by himself or hang out with friends while she is gone. UGH! The mind of teenagers!
So, Same subject...ish, new side. What the hell is my mother thinking?!?!? She can't really be running off to this weekend trip. I get that it was already planned, but her son just got out of jail and a mental hospital. Doesn't she think that taking off and leaving him the first weekend he is back home is a bad idea? Part of the reason he is in this mess is that she has been to busy with her own life the last 2 years that she has payed absolutely no attention to her children, good or bad. No affection, no discipline, no nothing! God forbid she miss a trip anywhere though. All she does is take trips and travel all over the place at the expense of her child. I get that she wants to do all that and that she has the means right now. Thing is, she still has a young child at home to raise. On top of that, he is a very special case that is going to need a LOT of attention and help if he is going to make it.
Now what?
Chateau Noir
2 comments:
He's 14??? Are you serious? I bet you mentioned this before but I think it just sunk in. He's just a pup! There is NO WAY he should be hanging around with 18 year olds. He should be in school and playing sport and joking with his mates about how he likes this or that girl. Or am I being naive?
Now what? I don't know. I understand where Nikos is coming from more than I can understand your position (lived through his problems to a certain extent). I think he knows full well how hard things are on you. Keep some hope alive, that remorse was probably genuine, he just hasn't learnt to control himself yet. Understatement of the year...
YES! He is 14. I don't think you are being naive. That is what I think he should be doing too. It seems that they are starting everything younger and younger now days. I have hope, but mine is eventual hope. I don't really have any hope that a real difference is going to come any time soon. I am living proof that people can come out of the worst of things, but I don't think this stumble was a big enough rock bottom to do the trick. I wish it was, but in the few days he has been home now, I see almost no difference than before he left. He has not gotten violent yet, but the rest of the personality (the lies and drugs) are still there.
I wish that he will prove me wrong!
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